Toys

By mandolinmama on May 3, 2007 | Reply

Yes, just help him find another toy. Kids that young don’t quite understand the concept of sharring just yet.

By unassailed on May 6, 2007 | Reply

The younger boy needs to be disciplined. He need to be told “NO” and “This is (your sons name) toy” when he exhibits this behavior.

By Huh? on May 9, 2007 | Reply

you need to do what my godfather did when i was in a similar situation…..he taught me how to punch someone in the nose….your son needs to haul off and knock that kid in the nose and he will learn not to take his stuff or anyone elses for that matter

sometimes talking to a child just isnt going to work…..when i was in high school, my mom had a friend whose 3 year old daughter would always bite everyone…especially her mom….leaving cuts, marks and sometimes drawing blood….well she bit me one day and i grabbed her skinny little arm and bit the crap out of her….she cried and never bit anyone again….served her right

By lesley s on May 10, 2007 | Reply

This happens to me as well, my daughter is two but the other girl is about 4 years old and it seems like everytime my daughter picks something up this kid walks over and tears it out of my daughters hands. The thing that bugs me though is that the mother says nothing, and she sees her, I think at her age she should be teaching her daughter not to do that. At your sons age though, I would just help your son pick out another toy, they don’t really grasp the concept of sharing yet especially the boy who is 6 months younger

By numinous on May 10, 2007 | Reply

You know, if the other boy is 2, it isn’t too young for the other mother to take the toy out of his hand and give it back to your son saying, “No grabbing.” It sounds like this is more than a once-and-a-while thing and he needs to learn that he isn’t going to get the “pay off” every time he does this. I don’t think they are going to figure it out on their own.

By Nire on May 11, 2007 | Reply

The other child weather younger or not needs to learn its not ok to take toys from other children and this needs to be reenforced all the time for him to learn. Your shouldnt always try and give your son another toy, then hes going to learn that its ok when someone else takes stuff from him all the time and wont help him out later in life. Although at the same time, you need to teach him that the other boy is younger and doesnt always no better, so sometimes you should let your son let the other boy have the toy, just explain it to him. And then help him to choose another toy to play with, but dont allow the other child to take this one.

By tinks on May 11, 2007 | Reply

i say to go the kids mother and get all his toys because that is not fair and you don’t want to be wasting that much money in pure toys and then they are going to take it away

By ljc2022 on May 15, 2007 | Reply

Someone needs to teach the other boy not to take toys form anyone. it should be his mother but if she is not i would try to. Don’t teach your son to just give up and walk away. he needs to stand up for himself, even if he is just two. Tell your son to say to the other my “My toy” and take it back. this situation is different from sharing, when they say mine!!! Help him out by showing him and saying to the boy ” Joe is playing with this now. Lets give it back(as you take it from his hands) ask him if he wants a turn when “Joe” is finished. Tell your son when he is done to give it to the other buy.

By michaeljamescarpenter on May 18, 2007 | Reply

i would the worst thing for a child is to beat up the chuild that took the toy. trust me you want to teach him to bee a god boy

By SASSY on May 21, 2007 | Reply

go sit on the other kid and let him kmow that no one is to take a toy away from your son, Ha just joking. Yes I would just tell your son to find something else and teach him not to get angry and let him know the other boy is wrong to take things away. Your son is young yet give him time and he will learn to do for himself and get what he wants.

By Gallifrey's Gone on May 22, 2007 | Reply

You need to teach your son how to stand up for himself or he`ll spend the rest of his life being bullied and taken advantage of. Teaching him to get another toy is simply teaching him to bendover. As Huh said, a punch in the nose will make the bully child think twice about stealing from your kid.

By Roxy on May 22, 2007 | Reply

No your son does not need to “toughen up” we are not training them to be rough tough kids. Emotions are okay. If he cries when its taken away, that’s okay…its his way of dealing with it right now. And its up to us on what to do next. Every time that other child takes a toy from him…gently give it back to your son and give a toy to the other child. The other child does understand cause and effect to an extent. He is probably noticing that when he takes a toy that makes your little boy upset. But then in turn talk to your son and tell him that its okay, reassure him and his emotions. So from there he will feel more secure when a toy is taken. But at this age, it is heartbreaking when your toy is taken from you. So you sort of have to go with that. If the other boy is 6 months younger that makes him around 23 months? Its time for him to learn to respect boundaries to his ability. Good luck. It takes time, but they will get it!

By janine b on May 24, 2007 | Reply

I still think i would let the one boy know that he can not take toys away from someone else. It is not nice. If he continues take the toy and put it away. Tell them when you fight over a toy like that then no one will get to play with it. It might not work at first but after a while it will work. Trust me. Otherwise they will just continue untill they outgrow this behavior and basically nothing will be solved. As far as toughening up, he is two and a half. Let him be a kid. Why is it today we expect our children to grow up tough and to handle problems for themselves at such a young age. That is where parenting comes into play. I know it is a difficult position you are in. But, that mother needs to work with you to help resolve the problem..

By butterfly_lilly on May 25, 2007 | Reply

I have had this problem. It is important for your child to learn to find another toy, and you have done that. good job! however, if it continues then you need to teach your child not to be bullied. Teach them that it is not ok for other kids to do that. Tell them to tell. Teach your child that FIRST. Then let them hash it out. Your child sounds very smart. And he/she will figure out how to make it stop, if you sit back and watch. As long as your child knows that it is not ok for them to do that, they will figure out how to make it stop. Possibly take the toy back, or not let it bother them. But your child will not continue to let someone hurt there feelings as long as they know, they can do something about it, AND it’s ok with you if they do. I child does not slam their fingers in a door everyday, why they learn… that hurts. So can feelings and when they figure out they can make it stop, let them. Give your child the oppertunity to solve this one, you may be surprised. But FIRST let them know they don’t HAVE to take that. Give them suggestions, like… take it back, with some bully type (strong-willed) a little agressiveness from another child will help them to back off.

By not_prfikt on May 27, 2007 | Reply

My wife and I faced the same type of situation when our second child was born. They are 18 months apart.The oldest was perfectly content to play by himself. When little sister was up on feet, she wanted someone to play with. She would always take something from older brother and run away, hoping he’d chase her. In time he realized that she really didn’t want to play with the toy, she wanted to play with HIM.
My suggestion would be to get them interested in playing with some similar toys, ie. blocks, trucks, stuffed animals, etc.,and if one takes away from the other, they must “trade” the toy they had been playing with previously to the other child.

By Mr. Terabithia on May 29, 2007 | Reply

You should let him get back once to show that that kind of action will not be taken. My sister is smaller than her age should be and there were other kids that would take things from here because they thought they were superior and can do that. I told her to stand her ground and the day she did, they stopped bugging her and actually took her in as a part of them. It’s not promoting violence, it’s just showing them that no matter how big or small someone is that kind of stuff does not fly. just het him do it once or twice and then promote working together.

By Michael E on May 31, 2007 | Reply

You have a choice. You can try to make him a good little boy, and a productive member/tool of society, or you can teach him to stand up for himself as an individual.

Right now, if my kid were in your kid’s sandbox, your kid would be crying. My kid would be waving his new find at me. Would I correct him? Half-heartedly….maybe. Then again, I didn’t “play well with others” either.

What principals do you want to teach your kid? How to be one of the sheep?

By marnonyahoo on Jun 1, 2007 | Reply

He is too young to work out this problem without some guidance. Some have suggested that you take the toy away from this child when he takes it from your son. This will not teach him to problem solve and will not work. If you teach him to find something else or distract him, he will not learn how to get something back he was using and still wants to use. If you start now teaching your son and the other boy to problem solve on their own, it will be much easier for them to do so on their own.

I have taught preschool for over 12 years and have learned that it is better for them to work out a problem for themselves with a little guidance. Say for example one child takes a toy from another, I will say “It looks like “Adam” wasn’t finished with that. It looks like you both want to use that (state the problem). Only one toy but two people that want to use it.” The children will often say things like “Mine” “I had it first! I want it!” I then empathize. “I can’t tell that you really want that. It’s very (upsetting, frustrating, making you angry) that “John” took it from you.” I let them vent a bit then say “What can we do about this?” Sometimes they will problem solve on their own, other times they need some help. I might say “I have an idea! When “John” is finished with he can give it to you”, or, “How about “John” uses it for 3 minutes and then you can use it?” I know they are a little young, but they will soon get the idea with some guidance. This approach works very well. Always state the problem, empathize (A little empathy can go a long way. You are just empathizing, not joining into the problem.), validate, and help the child identify their problem, restate their ideas to fix the problem, help them to carry out the solution. Spend less and less time each time. After the children figure out that you won’t solve the problem for them, they will get much better at solving their own problems. It takes some practice and active listening, but it works!

Do some role playing with your son at home. Teach him to express his feelings with you when you take something from him. Teach him phases to say to the child who takes things from him. With some instruction, he will be able to do so on his own.

There is a great book by Eleanor Reynolds called “Guiding Young Children.” It will help you help your son learn to solve problems in any given situation. Check it out! Good luck!

By momofhaybear on Jun 2, 2007 | Reply

You need to help your child find a way to assert himself with this kid. When it happens, take your child by the hand over to the offender and say “David (taker), Jason (takee) was playing with that-you may not take someone else’s toy” then gently, but firmly take the toy back from David and return it to Jason. Then, make sure you tell your child that he needs to say firmly “I want it back” when someone takes his toy away. Give David something else to play with.

David’s mom needs to tell him to ask before taking someone’s toy. I have two boys and there is no excuse for snatching and grabbing even if they are toddler boys. If I was David’s mom, every time he snatched a toy, I would follow the instructions above, then remove him from playgroup to sit by me for 2 mins. That happens several times in a row-he’ll get the message.

By queendebadow on Jun 2, 2007 | Reply

The other child should not be allowed to grab the toy your Son is playing with. The 2 year old sounds pretty smart, he knows to grab the toy your Son has. Maybe the 2 year old should go in time out..

By Irina on Jun 3, 2007 | Reply

Te younger boys’ mother needs to discipline him not just “intervene” .
He needs to be taught and understand the word “NO”.
And the sooner she learns to stop this kind of behavior the better .

It might sounds pathetic at this stage but that is how the bullying starts …
You might try and distract your boy with another toy at this age but he will need to toughen up in future.